Come with me
   Where the food is free
   Where the landlord never comes near you
   Be a guest in a house of rest
   Where the best of fellows can cheer you.
   There's your own little room
   So cool, not too much light
   Where you're one man for whom
   No wife waits up at night
   When day ends
   You have lots of friends
   Who will guard you well while you slumber
   Safe from battle and strife
   Safe from the wind and gale
   Come with me to jail
   You'll never have to fetch the milk
   Or walk the dog at early dawn
   There's no -"Get up- you're late for work!"
   While you rest in the pearly dawn
   You're never bored by politics
   You're privileged to miss a row
   Of tragedies by Sophocles
   And diatribes by Cicero
   Your brother's wife will never come
   On Sunday noon to bring to you
   Her little son who plays the lute,
   Her little girl to sing to you
   You can commit you little "sin"
   And relatives won't yell "Fie!"
   You needn't take the annual trip
   To the oracle at Delphi
   You snore and swear and stretch and yawn
   In this, your strictly male house
   The only way that sinners go to Heaven
   Is in the jailhouse!