Rita spits out her laurel leaf
  and grabs a piece of my pie
  she's gonna lead me up the mountain path
  as the crows fly
    Claudette's pretty quick off the mark
  like a polaris missile in heat
  she smiles at a hundred miles an hour
  and rushes you off your feet
    There's all these friends of mine
  they've got me suffering
  they don't take a line
  they keep me pissing adrenalin
    Ratty is nearly unique
  looks like a Pre-Raphaelite barb freak
  wears dangerous jewellery
  got a cast iron personality
    Sandie wears an awful lot of silk
  says she's a friend of Mr Acker Bilk
  she's going out of my mind
  wants to live on milk
    There's all these friends of mine ...
    I was musing on the pool outdoors
  about foreign matters and fancy affairs
  Betty trimmed my nails with pliers
  while eating avocado pears
    Norman's sobbing cos his make-up's
  running away with itself
  he's heading for an early grave
  scared to death about the state of his health
    There's all these friends of mine ...