Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
  
  I saw you by that pool.
  I thought you thought I was cool.
  I felt a longing in my tool.
  So dye your hair
  Or change your name
  Have your left arm surgically removed
  No matter what you do
  I?ll be in love with you.
  
  Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
  
  You like corn, you like twelve,
  You keep a pomade on your shelf
  You?ve got a walnut like myself.
  You?ve got grooves
  And you?ve got shoes
  And even though you lose your marbles
  And you panic in a crisis I?m in love with you.
  Pose was once your man but you scared him away.
  Now your man is Dan (that?s me!)
  And I am here to stay.
  
  Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
  Ellen, I fell in big loving with you.
  
  If you were blind in one eye, quadriplegic
  Or if you lost all your teeth
  So that I had to chew your food for you,
  No matter what you do,
  I?ll be in love with you!