Take all the money that we need for school
  And to keep the street people in out of the cold
  Spend it on a weapon you can never use
  Make the world an offer that they can't refuse
  Open up the door and let the shark-men feed
  Hoover of the future in the land of greed
  Sell the Ponderosa to the Japanese
  Slap leather, head for that line of trees, yeah
  Slap leather
  Go on Ron
  Just about to go myself
  
  Turn the whole wide world into a TV show
  So it's just the same game wherever you go
  You never meet a soul that you don't already know
  One big advertisement for the status quo
  As if these celebrities were your close friends
  As if you knew how the story ends
  As if you weren't sitting in a room alone
  And there was somebody real at the other end of the phone, yeah
  Squibnocket
  Phone sex
  Just about to dial your number
  
  Get all worked up so we can go to war
  We find something worth killing for
  Tie a yellow ribbon around your eyes
  Big McFalafel and a side of fries
  Yeah, Big McFalafel
  Stormin' Norman
  I just love a parade
  Slap leather
  Phone love
  Big McFalafel
  Just about to dial myself